5 Steps in Personal Development: Can you coach yourself?
I was on Amazon’s website looking for another great book on self-help. Did you know there are over 652,000 books available? Is that an indicator that our society requires help? Or are people looking for answers to an existing problem?
The topics are diverse. They range from personal development to motivation to self-esteem to psychology and counseling to spirituality. No matter the topic, Amazon has a book for you.
I love self-help books. The breath of wealth you get out of a book is amazing. A new perspective on life. I jump start for motivation. A new belief for growth.
Can I coach myself?
Coaching is a topic that all of us can benefit from. Have you ever sat down and wondered can I coach myself? Can I create an unbiased opinion of myself? Think about this for a moment! Tick! Tick. Tick! The clock is ticking. What are your thoughts?
Every day you wake up with the anticipation that your day will go as planned. Eat. Work. Children activities. Exercise. Dinner. Put the kids to bed. Go to bed. But what happens if there is an unexpected change in your life – you lose your job, a job promotion that requires relocation, or a health issue arises? Through self-evaluation you can mitigate negative thoughts and actions and turn them into a positive outcome.
I asked you if you could coach yourself. Many would say, it’s impossible. Too biased. Too many constraints. I say you are wrong. Your mind is very powerful. And if you can push out those negative thoughts, you can do anything.
I remember the days when I was training to become a long-distance runner. My running coach would say, you are going to hear negative thoughts during your training. Your mind will say — “you are tired, stop…this run is too far, stop….your legs hurt, stop.” Joe said, you will hear those demons every day until push those demons out of your head. Focus.” And I did. They never came back.
Coaching yourself for personal, spiritual, or business gain can be challenging. It’s your role to increase your awareness of those thoughts that are holding you back. Embrace the negative thoughts. Push out those demons. Create a positive outcome for personal development
When I was going through hard times, my therapist suggested that I write in a journal. Write down any thoughts that may come up. They can be positive or negative — just write them down. These are your thoughts. You will not share them with anyone. The impact of writing thoughts on paper can be transformational. A sigh of relief. Today, I continue to write in my journal.
As you are working on your self-coaching skills consider removing all distractions. Find a spot that you can define as a Zen area in sucasana (sukhasana) – sit on a pillow on the floor or chair in your study. Sit in total silence. Absorb the power of silence.
My yoga teacher would say “this is your time to think only positive thoughts. Push out any negative thoughts and recharge you mind.” Plan this routine into your daily life. Self-reflect on the day. Think about what went right and wrong. What impact did your decisions have on your day? Were the outcomes positive or negative? Could you have done something different? Reflect. No interruptions. If you find mediation challenging, think about 3 things that you are grateful for – a great cup of coffee, a stranger that smiled at you, or someone complementing you.
Everybody talks about their To-Do list and how busy they are. But, not everyone writes down their goals (personal, spiritual, or business)? They keep them in their head. Writing down your goals in a visible reminder of what are you trying to achieve.
Write these goals on your bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator, place them on a sticky note and attached them to your monitor or laptop display. Ask yourself, “in a perfect world, what would I want…I would change…”
Plan of Action
Next, create a plan of action. How am I going to accomplish these goals? As you create your goal list, make sure you put a date next to each goal. Start with a simple goal. Do something that you dislike doing. Wax your car. Learn how to program in Java. Go for a 5 mile walk. Start small. Check off goals and watch your motivation rise.
Finally, reach out to a family member or friend that can hold you accountable for your actions. Explain your goals. Discuss your struggles. Plan your strategy. Ask your support group to be hard on you when you don’t reach your goals. Have them question you on why you are not achieving your goals. Don’t be upset with them when they ask the difficult question – why did you not meet your goal? Keep in mind. This is your support group trying to help you because you ask them.
Can you coach yourself?
In closing, can you be self-coached for personal development? In times when one feels like they are lost, requiring a recharge, seeking a place to self-reflect, creating a strategy to achieve goals, and holding oneself accountable for not meeting their goals, can you coach yourself?
I say you CAN if you put your mind to it. If not, Amazon has a book for you.
I wrote an article on creating your own personal brand. Check it out.
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